Gogol has taken over the banking system

Possibly the Bank of America is plotting to drive me crazy: no, of course not, they're actually plotting to drive everyone crazy :)

After my unsuccessful attempt to talk to them about mortgages a couple of days ago, I tried applying for a credit card - after all, they had turned me down before because I wasn't a permanent resident, and that has been solved. I did this online, after my experiences with the staff (plus, I know from last time, all the staff would do is log into the same screen and do the typing for me, which, well, I can do easier than I can get them to spell my name right for one thing).

However, I got turned down - when I clicked on the link as to why, it referenced one of the credit check sites, and indicated that either there was a problem, or the bank deemed that I had all the debt I could handle, in their opinion. OK, annoying, but I know better than to argue with computer-moderated processes, and added to my mental list, an item to go elsewhere & apply for a card.

However, I log into my electronic Bank account before work this morning, and all of a sudden, instead of 3 accounts (cheque for each of us, joint savings), there are 4 - and the 4th is something called a Platinum Visa, with an assigned limit and no activity to date. So ... did they make a mistake? Did I misunderstand what 'You have been declined' means? No, actually I think some Gogol-like conspirators have taken over the bank and are using it to experiment with surrealist comedy: that might explain the Bank's performance for the last couple of years, and how it got so close to bankruptcy, after all.

And why was I applying for a new credit card? Not, actually, because I need more credit to go spending with, I've been down that road once, never again. No, because I discovered that the credit rating agencies - the all-powerful arbiters of the US financial markets - use the amount of unused credit you have as part of how you are rated: the more unused credit you have access to, the higher your rating.

So, to get a card and then never use it will improve my credit rating, something which still needs work as (of course) they only consider US financial history. Slightly bizarre. And, in case you're unaware, your credit rating will substantially affect not just the amount of mortgage you can acquire, but the interest rate and other terms you will be offered, so getting it as high as possible, fairly quickly, just makes financial sense. Seems a very odd way to run your country.

Oh, and Gogol? Russian satirist :)